A Quirky Story

Cyberspace Love?

2009-01-16T02:04:00.001-08:00

So I just turned 19, like my previous post stated, I'm pretty sure. And on the night of my birthday I clicked on some wrong thing and it ended me up on this online dating site. Now I'm an adult and can fill out stuff like this, so I did because let's be honest, I was lonely.

After putting up a picture and filling out a few questionnaires, I found this chatroom thing, and if you have a webcam you can video chat, which is neat, because you actually see the people's reactions to things instead of just assume. I liked that quite a bit. Okay, so I'd say 80 percent of the people on there were on there for...adult things, which is totally NOT why I was on there, because to tell you the truth, I just kind of filled it out on a whim. And just a fun fact here, I'm attractive to old not attractive men. Yay me.

Well anyways, tonight, second night on the site, and there's a little sidebar where you can see the people with webcams, and there's this one guy, mildly attractive, but the kind of guy who, you know is too good looking for me. I set my own limits, which is a terrible thing. But back to my story. So this guy says he has the hiccups in the public chat and I tell him my little secret (If you have the hiccups, you say "What swims in water? A fish!" and they go away..seriously, they do.) And it worked for mr. ripped fence guy. So I told him he was cute, I mean what do you say to strike up a conversation? "Oh did you hear about the plane that landed in the Hudson? yeah it was most likely caused by birds." But I digress, he replies with this charming answer expected and we end up talking for about 4 hours. Online. Never met. Talked for four hours, and then my computer wigged out, and so I said night and went on my way.

Now besides this guy having the kind of smile that just makes you blush, (which, I took a bathroom break somewhere in the middle and my gosh, I was blushing,) he made really good conversation. We talked about movies and music, and had some silly competition about who was more intelligent. It was fun. And I laugh at those online dating site commercials because they seem so cheesy, but are we too quick to judge the whole possibility of finding someone via the Internet, and I mean someone serious?

Shaun was a decent guy and we had real conversations, and the whole webcam added a whole different level to it, I mean I could see him laugh at my jokes and he could, see me blush. Ha. It was more personal than just typing a sentence in a box. Part of me hopes that Shaun and I spark up conversation again, and the other part is maybe trying to be a bit more open minded. Is the Internet a new way to go about love? Or simply a disaffected vice?

Whoa College

2009-01-14T23:45:00.000-08:00

totally put a stand still on this whole blogging thing. It's not that I don't have time to write, I just have time to do better things. That's a good thing however isn't it?

Yesterday was my birthday, that was weird. Birthdays are weird. I feel oddly uncomfortable opening presents in front of people, it's like half of the present is your reaction. And I'm sorry I'm not going to fake a smile, if I don't like it, you can probably tell. It's just too much effort being nice ALL THE TIME. I mean don't be rude all the time either, but a good balance between nice and rude should suffice.

Also, got some decent recording stuff, maybe I'll actually put an EP together, ha? Music is what I'm going to college for anyways, better put it to good use.

Teenagers with an Attitude

2008-06-28T00:20:00.000-07:00

So I don't know about you but I always loved the Blue Ranger. The Pink Ranger was always the girls (and boys) favorite girl and the red ranger was typically the boys (and girls) favorite boy. But I, I always liked the underdog.
Billy was all that and a bag of chips. He was always kinda cute and plus he was a total genius. The he blossomed from this nerdy kid to this very attractive young man. I think that's why I really like nerds, I'm hoping they'll transform into Billy.
Anyways, here I was going down memory lane and so I googled David Yost aka Billy aka Blue Power Ranger and he looks pretty good for forty, just saying.

He's still the best looking. Hands down.
If I was in trouble I'd want the Blue Power Ranger to rescue me, I don't care how old he is!

Dentistry is the Devil

2008-06-25T22:09:00.000-07:00

This will be my third appointment within the time frame of three weeks and I'm dreading this one a lot. My appointment will be for 2 hours, yes, 2 hours. 2 hours of pure embarrassment and talking with my mouth held open. 2 hours of those gut wrenching dentist tool sounds, 2 hours of my lips getting dry, my face getting numb and my jaw being ultimately sore for weeks.
Consequently, that same night I have band practice for worship on Sunday, we'll see how that goes. I know I'll be in some serious pain. but no pain, no gain, and the worship is for god, so even if I can't open my mouth all the way, God will love it, right?

However my favorite Dentist would have to be Steve Martin. Good movie, good song, baddddd dentist.

Just one of those days

2008-06-25T13:40:00.000-07:00

Things just start piling up if I don't deal with them, and I don't deal with a lot of things. I slept in today. Longer than I have in a while. But I knew as soon as I woke up something wasn't right. It's like you sleep too long and you miss something and it throws your whole day off..
One after another things seems to be falling apart, not at a phenomenal rate, but just enough to shake it up. And not in the good, "try new things" way of shaking things up. I know I shouldn't complain in fact there is very little to complain about in comparison to other's lives. Those around me, people I barely know. But today I just feel a little broken.
I have work 5 to close today, and I just have a feeling something is gonna go wrong. I hope it doesn't, goodness. I hope it doesn't. I'm dealing with a broken heart at the moment. Getting fired isn't really on my agenda.

Hollywoods Wholesome

2008-06-24T12:23:00.000-07:00

Out of all the little stars that come out of hollywood, I think only one has truly stepped outside of the box. She did the whole bubblegum pop but honestly, her newest CD was phenonmenal. And yes, I do have it in my collection.

There are very few mainstream muscians that impress me, but Mandy Moore is one of them. Not only is she gorgeous and amazingly talented. She hasn't let the little petty trends of today bother her. She's healthy. I honestly wish I could be able to sing 1/2 as good as her. She's what I aim for I think, to have that passion, that talent. That's what I want.

A Form of Escape

2008-06-24T10:43:00.000-07:00

I've been researching larping, alot. Seeing what kind of world I'm going to have to put one foot in come college. While it's all very weird, I will admit, the passion and dedication these people possess is a bit inspiring. It's an escape, like me with music or an artist with paint, it's all an escape. It's only when that pretend world starts affecting your real one that a problem presents itself.

I will go and fight, or at least watch and meet people. I also am going to be on the newspaper staff, so who knows, perhaps I can do a feature on it?

I'm a big fan of documentaries, believe it or not. So I will rent and watch this, when it comes out on video.

Lightning Bolt. Lightning Bolt. Lightning Bolt.

2008-06-24T10:28:00.000-07:00

Lightning Bolt. Lightning Bolt. Lightning Bolt. Lightning Bolt. Lightning Bolt. Lightning Bolt. Lightning Bolt. Lightning Bolt. Lightning Bolt. Lightning Bolt. Lightning Bolt. Lightning Bolt. Lightning Bolt. Lightning Bolt. Lightning Bolt. Lightning Bolt. Lightning Bolt. Lightning Bolt. Lightning Bolt. Lightning Bolt.

.

Year of the Dog

2008-06-22T14:53:00.001-07:00

Just finished this bizarre movie with my mom. The cover of it was very "Flight of the Conchords-esque" and even the little blurb on the back sounded cute. Plus it had Molly Shannon and John C. Reilly, so I thought, it has to be amusing.

Weirdest movie I've seen in a while. Good, but weird. It definitely redefines puppy love.

Resolved

2008-06-21T13:06:00.000-07:00

I just finished watching this fascinating documentary on High School debate. It follows students through the fast pace, high intensity life of debate. There were many groups followed but the debate seemed to be surrounded by one sole group.

Richard and Louis, two very strong debaters, who are of the african heritage, used this high school debate as a ploy for their fight for freedom and used it as a cause to make their point known about Racisim.

They believed that while the majority of people who debated in the program were white and rich, therefore, of an elite group and the rules and guidelines of debate excluded anyone of humble or regular origin. While their debate was passionate and I believe does present some factual evidence I also feel that by claiming everyone who debated by the rules that were required in debate was therefore presenting a racist ideal REALLY got under my skin.

It's a bit hypocritical to call one group of people racist simply on what they've been taught, without getting to know the person. Because I was born white does not make me automatically a racist but that is exactly what they were claiming. There's no validity in their point if by assuming one to be racist they are in fact being racist themselves.

They cried for a fight against racismn and quoted Martin Luther King and Malcom X, but they personally were not involved in the kind of riducule that was bestowed upon their ancestors. And they also were NOT the only people put under that sort of oppression.

Maybe I'm being a little too passionate and taking it all a little too personally but I believe it is reverse discrimintation that is really hitting this nation hard. The used-to-be miniority races claim because of something that our ancestors decided makes us all racist and they fight like they have a personal chip on their shoulder. My family comes from a native american background but you don't see me fighting for their rights, and they were opprssed and killed off just like slaves.

I FIND THIS KIND OF ARGUMENT TO BE IDIOTIC.

And by making this argument against it, I'm sure I will be labeled as a racist but, if Richard and Louis can claim some sort of victim role then why can't I?

Larping at it's best

2008-06-21T11:37:00.000-07:00

Since you all want to marvel in my upcoming pain.
Here's just a preview of what I'll enjoy. This is actually what my roommate is a part of, amtgard.

Part 2, coming soon.

Ben Hogan

2008-06-21T11:32:00.001-07:00

I watched a documentary on him this morning. It's actually a facsinating story. And he accomplished so much with so much adversity.

Impressive doesn't even begin to cover it.

Kiwis anyone?

2008-04-12T09:16:00.000-07:00

I discovered going to school in New Zealand cost the same as going to school at an out of state University. Isn't that insane?!? Maybe I'll do that for my sophomore year. Ha. I'm really fascinated with accents. I mean I've always been able to somewhat speak in foreign accents but as I continue to do this project for Theater about world dialects the more I'm interested. Studying abroad is getting more and more relevant.

Music

2008-04-09T19:58:00.001-07:00

is fantastic.

Not all of it. But a lot of it.

I've recently become infatuated with Treaty of Paris.

I'm drawn to Indie kind of flair like Ludo, Jason Mraz and Last Fast Action.

Seriously, if boredom strikes just search random words on Myspace music.

That's how I heard about The Brunettes and The Whats, both fantastic bands! Music is my only escape.

To prominade alone

2008-04-07T21:17:00.000-07:00

This week is the last week I can buy tickets for prom.
I want to go. I'm a senior, it'll be my last chance.
But the tickets are $45 a piece. So it'd be 90 if I bought James's.
Then the dress, another 200 (give or take.)
That's 300 dollars and I haven't even thought about diner or food.
And James would have to stay here for the weekend.
And apparently my mom can't have that.

So here it is. Prom. Biggest day of my senior year.
It cost too much, I can't make a decision, and I don't want James down here feeling awkward because my mom, for some reason, doesn't approve. That won't be a fun weekend for either of us.

I'm broke, I'm sick of everything, I miss James. I wish decisions were easier to make.
I wish my mom would approve. Any approval of some sort would be refreshing from a disapproving mother.

I can't ask my parents for money. That would be too much to ask of them. Which means I'm not going to prom. What a lovely night this will turn out to be.

Stress

2008-04-07T21:01:00.000-07:00

It feels like the world is collapsing on me. Nothing is particularly going wrong it's just nothing is going right either. Like I'm just stuck. Stuck, that's a good a word for it. I'm stuck.

I'm struggling with multiple issues from self-confidence to fear of failure to desire for independence yet being very dependent. I'm not growing up the way one should. I'm going backwards. I'm spent most of my kid years being an adult. Of course I made kid mistakes, who didn't? But while a kid at 14 might see a mistake as a "don't do it again" sort of thing, I saw it as a disease. If I were to do that again I would surely die, and if not die be severely ill. I could not fail. I can not fail. While failing is easier, the ultimate idea of failing scares the crap out of me. So I depend on my parents far too much. For money, for rides, for decisions. They are my stone, my stepping stone to life, but I'm too scared to take the next step.

Ridiculous, actually. I'm 18. Smart. Leader like qualities. More mature than most. And I can't even take a driving test because I'm afraid. Afraid of failing, afraid of dying. I'm afraid. My whole life I've been afraid.

Afraid. Dependent. Self-conscious.
When am I gonna grow up?

Bah, life

2008-04-07T05:57:00.000-07:00

it's too confusing.
Sometimes I wish it was easier than this.

Crappy Hoax

2008-03-31T19:41:00.000-07:00

Okay at first I felt bad for the guy. I mean the bird craps in his mouth. There is nothing that could be seen as more gross than that, in my opinon at least. You watch the whole thing and you're thinking "EW."

But if you go to this site you discover the whole story. It is a bit far-fecthed if you ask me.

Open Up Your Ears

2008-03-31T19:23:00.000-07:00

I find as I get older the sound of my own voice is a little annoying. I used to enjoy speaking, about anything really, the weather, the boy down the street, how many licks it took to get to the center of the tootsie pop; I was there for conversation. Now it seems wasteful. Everything that comes out of your mouth has a significant meaning to someone, however small it may seem. So why waste your words when there is so much to learn? When what I say is so ignorant in comparison?

I have always been told when your mouth is open, your ears are closed. There is truth to that statement. I have spent my life speaking far too many pointless words. I need to listen more. There is a lesson in everything. Everything you do, every where you go, every one you meet, there is a lesson. And I want desperately to learn.

Also

2008-03-30T17:57:00.001-07:00

I enjoy these guys quite a lot. I'm looking for the show, it seems like something I'd enjoy. It's called Flight of the Conchords. A show based out of New Zealand (like Hercules AND Xena!) And it has that dry humor I so very much enjoy. The show follows this folk group around New York on their attempt at success in the cutthroat career.It seems very 10 or Items or Less-ish. Very humorous! Gonna find the first season and buy it on Amazon.

I also just can't get enough of these kiwis accents!!

Out of Place

2008-03-30T17:53:00.000-07:00

Lately I've felt like a bystander in the world.
I mean I exist but my existence is inconsequential. Everything I'm a part of seems so distant, church..school. Everything. I'm not sure why so I try to stop and examine things but that doesn't help. It does nothing really. I'm just stuck in this rut. I'm too young to make a difference and too old to ask for help. What an awkward age.

HORRIBLE HORRIBLE HORRIBLE

2008-03-24T09:04:00.000-07:00

Airport experience. The lady there had no idea what she was doing and now I miss a day of school for her incompetence. She was in the wrong and because of that it cost us 100 extra dollars, me missing a day of school and my parents being severely angry with me.

Yes I got to see James for one more day. And that was fantastic playing cramopoly (cranium and monopoly combined) with Rae, James and Ashley. But I have to go home, get chewed out about how I MISSED school, how I probably planned to do this all along. Well I didn't, okay?

And I missed a newspaper meeting, a project graduation meeting, my makeup days for two tests and two quizzes. Yeah, I missed all that on purpose.

This will NOT be a fun week.

=(

Spring Break Day 1

2008-03-14T08:25:00.000-07:00

I got into New Hampshire yesterday after a whole day of flying. I am not a big fan of flying. But I flew through Detroit. That was a new experience. And it is a huge airport. The tram thing was nifty. Anyway, the plane got in about 3:20 and I called Rae and Mama Farley to see where they were and all of the sudden I hear "SHAYLA, SHAYLA WHERE ARE YOU?!!?"

Mama Farley screams this across the whole airport and I can just see everyone look at me, but I didn't care. I love her. And she loves making scenes. After finally getting my luggage, because the little carousel thing broke, we get lost in New Hampshire and we follow this guy in a green truck for 20 minutes, no joke. The poor guy probably thought we were crazy. We finally get to the house which is covered in snow!! AGH! It's fantastic and I will have pictures eventually.

James gives me this huge hug and I just felt home. I love this whole place, everything about it is wonderful. They place SSBB and I lose, terribly. Then we have our double date and I finally meet Jared! (James best friend) Jared's girlfriend, Andrea and I sgare a common bond. Both our moms are addicted to Second Life. We actually had ALOT in common, I was surprised, but it made the night a little less awkward. It was fun though, we went to outback and ordered like a diggiry do. The food was good and the strawberry limeade tasted like red skittles. And it was my first real date with James. :)

We saw Be Kind Rewind, and I was a little disappointed. But there were literally 7 people in the whole theater and it was the tiniest thing ever. It was a fun night, good start for my snowy spring break.

Ha

2008-03-09T19:16:00.000-07:00

Hmm reading through my blogs and stuff I discovered I use the word realize quite frequently.

I need to replace that with something.

Suggestions?

Tonight

2008-03-09T19:04:00.000-07:00

I've been writing a lot of songs lately, I'm sure maybe like 2 of them are any good. But I'm also learning how to play the guitar at the same time. It's scary, listening to me, that is. My dad mocks me but I'm sure it's out of love. I notice writing music is what I turn to when I'm all agh! I was definitely agh tonight.

I realized 1) I'm in a rutt and just kind of stuck in the same place. 2) I don't quite fit in anywhere, the more time goes on the more my peers annoy me, but I'm just too young for anyone older than me. 3) I have no idea what love is, but I really want to find out.

See I have crushes on just about every guy. That's an exaggeration but it's quite a high number. And I realized all my crushes seem to be out of my reach, odd isn't it? I mean I'm in a relationship and James is sweet and dorky and I like that but the reason I have crushes on other guys is because the have something James doesn't possess.

I guess it's one of way of seeing all the aspects I want in a husband. A stronger christian, dimples, goals, compassion, dedication, grasp on reality..but aspects aren't everything right?And I know, I'm 18, and that's "too young to be thinking about marriage" I don't want to rush into it but I know what I want. At least I'm starting to find out. And it's making life harder, curiously. You'd think it'd be solving a problem.

It's creating another, however, and I have to catch myself sometimes..I really do.

Candle Cannon

2008-03-08T22:08:00.000-08:00

amazing!!

I did it again

2008-03-08T21:55:00.001-08:00

I was looking for something to wear to Chelsy's wedding, which was beautiful by the way, and right there on my dresser was a book I've been meaning to give back! I looked at it, picked it up, took my couple pages of notes out of the inside and set and down and said, "I really need to bring this to the wedding tonight and give this to Trevor." And did I? NO.

I will remember, I'm really not this bad when I normally borrow books, but I guess there's just something wrong with me..

Sorry Trevor!

I'm just terrible at this

2008-03-07T16:57:00.000-08:00

I know there is no excuse for me not blogging.
And I can say I juggle family stuff, a relationship, school, and the production of a 16 page paper every month (which actually took forever long to get out, thank you slackers!) But I've realized everyone has problems, everyone has struggles and I really have nothing to complain about.

My friend Courtney had her aunt pass away on Wednesday. She had Hepatitis because her husband would sleep around with hookers, and obviously he would come home for some lovin' too. Well her liver produce ammonia or something and put Courtney's aunt Debbie in a coma and on Monday she had to be put on life support because she wasn't breathing on her own. She passed away Wednesday and it was the hardest thing watching Courtney deal with that. But along with the loss of her Aunt and the fact that her mom is out of work so she has to work to pay the rent, Courtney's pepaw (grandpa) has cancer of the throat and it's too severe to cure, her sister might have ovarian cancer and her dad is getting married to a woman who is 23 years younger than him.

Separate these things would be hard to handle but Courtney seems to do it with such grace. I always look at her as this rock who never crumbles. She is amazing. But it was at band practice Monday night when I got a call from Courtney and I could just hear the pain in her voice. It broke my heart, she was so upset, she was crying so hard she could barely breathe...and Courtney never cries.

It was right there I realized, I don't have it bad. I may have struggles and things I have to deal with, but I maximize them to this extraneous size because I think if I don't have a problem, then I won't get attention. Or at least that's what I've come up with, if you have a better suggestion that doesn't make me look so human, please, tell me.

Maybe because I'm a writer I feel I have to suffer in order to be able to write a story worth reading, but I have hardly begun to suffer. Life is just starting for me. I have college to look forward to, love to discover, there's so much more life to live how could I have expected to get every heart-wrenching, tear-jerking experience before I turned 18? I'm foolish, I know that. Foolish, and oddly somewhat self-centered.

I'm working on both.

Lost...

2008-02-18T18:58:00.000-08:00

I've been feeling really emotional lately, so my well thought out stuff surfaces, but don't worry I'll be back to the dumb stuff in a bit...maybe.

Deeper, deeper I fall into these arms that I call home.
so willing to love yet unwilling to trust.
my heart pounds faster with every sweet whisper
but my mind can't give myself away,
I catch myself right before I fall.
I need you, I realize as my heart hits the floor.

Silently I wait.
Trapped in the familiar sound of the calm.
But I am not calm, I can't help but long for you.
Room spinning.
Mind racing.
Love fading.
I need you, I say, as my heart hits the floor.

Crying, I realize,
Nights like this are lonely.
Tonight is just one of many.
I am yours
But how can that be?
Love in the absence of you?
I need you, desperately, as my heart hits the floor.

Deeper I fall,
Silently I wait,
Crying I realize,
Without you, I'm lost.
I need you.

Don't let my heart hit the floor.

Love Re-defined

2008-02-06T19:50:00.000-08:00

What is your definition of love?

According to Webster love is: (1) : strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties (2) : attraction based on sexual desire: affection and tenderness felt by lovers (3) : warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion (4) : unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another.
But do people really live by text book love?

According to wikipedia (which is a reliable source [check the website]) love is: a constellation of emotions and experiences related to a sense of strong affection or profound oneness.

I don't know about you, but I think I prefer the latter of the two.
A constellation of emotions and experiences
Notice how it doesn't designate that they are all good, for I don't think love always is.

Sometimes an argument is necessary to reach a better bond with said person.
One of my favorite lines from a movie is
"I'd rather fight with you than make love with anyone else."
[Its from The Wedding Date, if you haven't seen it I highly suggest it.]
But that quote is so true. I think I'd rather have someone I can fight with and know that when the fight is over I can still fall back into their arms. It isn't enough to love someone, its having the strength to open yourself up to their love and be able to deal with a few lover's quarrels.
And apparently "Make up sex is the best kind."
Don't you want that?
Someone to fight with
laugh with
joke with;
someone to love?
Sincere, heartfelt, can't live without each other love.

I want that. Desperately.
I mean come on, what girl doesn't?
I want to be able to have a constellation of emotions and experiences, good and bad, depressing and uplifting, wonderful incredible meant for each other kind of love.
And saying "I love you" just isn't enough.

He has to be able to care for you, make you smile, make you cry, piss you off only to apologize in that adorable way. And its more than just a kiss from a guy, its the way he holds your hand and how he can't seem to take his eyes off of you.
I don't want textbook love.
I want him. That guy. A mess but completely in love. I want him.

Just realized

2008-01-12T18:38:00.000-08:00

that exclaiming profound things
when you've just about had enough of everyone,
is quite relieving.

you should try it sometime,
if you get to the point where you think you're gonna crack.

San Francisco

2008-01-04T14:25:00.001-08:00

San Francisco has been coming up a lot lately. Whether in lyrics, or the news or something, I've been hearing it a lot. You know when you don't ever think of something, and then it just hits you like 3 times a day for a week? It's weird. Wonder if it means anything. But here's Tony Bennett. Every time I hear this song I get goosebumps.

Down Memory Lane

2008-01-03T19:10:00.000-08:00

Felt like reminiscing today. Found a bunch of old photos and just started scanning them in. I never realized how cute of a kid I was, not to toot my own horn here...but I mean the evidence is in the photo.-I'm the one on the left, just in case you couldn't tell.- I've decided I'm definitely dressing my kids up as construction workers, you know, when I get around to having kids.
But as I was looking at all the old photos of me and my brother and my parents, I realized life seemed much happier when you were 6. I mean you peed, you played, you ate, and you slept. Not really much to life. But it was the simplicity that allowed you to find beauty in mud pies in the summer and bull frog chasing at night.
Sometimes I wish I could just dig my fingers into the dirt and have a big heaping of my childhood back. Anyone with me?

It hit me

2008-01-02T15:28:00.000-08:00

At like 1:30 in the morning on New Years day, it hit me. I have to grow up. This is the year I graduate from high school, the same year I go off to college. This is the year I become an adult and turn 18 and grow up. And that is scary as hell. I think of myself as the older teenager. I'm more mature, I make good decisions. But I can't grow up. OMG. I mean there is my whole life just waiting for me, and I'm like a deer in headlights...what am I supposed to do with it?

They say how your new years turns out is how the rest of your year is supposed to go. This does not instill hope. I decided to spend New Years with Alix. It was supposed to be this double date sort of thing I suppose. Hot Topic Ian was supposed to call Alix, and then Tim from Austin and me were all supposed to hang out. So Tim drives down, right? Alix gives me the okay, and picks me up. And damn, I left my purse at home with my phone charger. Since my house is on the way to Alix's I called Tim and asked him to pick it up for me. Surprisingly, he did. Apparently it was awkward, but all he did was shake my dad's hand..it's not that awkward. Anyways, so we're sitting there watching this guy jump a football field, and try to break the record. Robbie Madison, this Australian with oober guts, cause OMG, after the first jump he wanted to do it again. Definite shocker, did not see that coming.
He looks like this guy in my economics class. Anyways, Tim is snuggling up next to me and Alix still has no fella. Macy, Alix's dachshund saves the day when she fits her wiener dog body between me and Tim. Alix gets mad, storms off and I'm left there, with Alix's parents and Tim.
Tim tells the infamous "artery slicing" story and people oooo and awww. Whatever. Midnight strikes and I'm in the kitchen on the phone with Benjamin. Tim comes in, tries for a kiss and I'm all "not while Alix's parents are in the room" so whatever. Scrabble is played, pizza is had, and apparently "boas" is supposed to be an impressive word. Scrabble isn't that difficult.
Tim kept "uhahaha uhahah"-ing and saying how he was "totally gonna win." Completely obnoxious if you ask me. It's 2 before he finally leaves. The night, got much worse.
I walk him out to his truck, and go to give him a hug and he kisses me. Not who I wanted to kiss on new years and to make it worse, he thinks teeth are involved. My lip is swollen from the kiss. I push him away and he's all "I think I found one of your buttons." I smile and think, yeah, the off button. I wish I would've said it.
Such a bad night. But afterwards, Ian called Alix, she was happy, I was on the phone and didn't get to bed till 6. So if my night is full of late nights and bad kisses, I'm not looking forward to it. However, there is one glimmer of hope in it all. At least I got the bad kiss out of the way, now I'll just wait patiently for a good one. I mean, my Prince Charming is out there and a necessity I've decided, he has to know how to play scrabble.

Metamorphosis

2008-01-02T15:18:00.000-08:00

New room. Took me and Alix two days of taping and painting, and tons of laughing. But we got it done. It looks really good. Better pictures will come...but here's the colors. I love it. It fits me. The lines aren't perfect and it fits me really well. :) Thats why I haven't posted in a while. Been a busy break, not gonna lie. But oh my goodness, paint is expensive. 50 bucks for two gallons and a quart..thats insanity! But the brown is on the bottom, and then this teal color and then a cream white (it's called Eternal Beige)...it looks awesome. I need new sheets and some wall stuff. Alix is calling it the Elvis room, because everything on the wall right now is Elvis. But it's definitely not just an Elvis room.
I feel older just sitting in that room. Plus I've got a strobe light and a black light, and it's kind of walking in my room at night. Now I just have the mess of the other room to clean up. That should be fun!
My birthday is coming up so if you feel like getting me a cool poster or a pillow or something, please don't hesitate. January 14th. *cough, cough*

Bah Humbug

2007-12-25T08:59:00.000-08:00

Today does not feel like christmas. I woke up at 10:30 this morning, I missed It's a Wonderful Life last night and can't find our copy, and to top it off my mom has a set time for everything. Lunch at 12,Travis comes over at 11:45, so we have to open our presents before then. I don't care about the damn presents really, I just want the happy family back. "We have to open them before they get here." Have. The only time "have" should be used today is to say, Have a Merry Christmas. It used to be about leisure and joy and spending time with the family, instead its a scheduled holiday so my mom can have time to go play her stupid Second Life. If you want to know what I really want for Christmas..I want that game to dissapear. If you don't know what it is, it's this online application. Think Sims, but lamer. haha. And my mom is addicted to that game. My mom got lost somewhere in that game.

So as I leave to go open up my not heart filled presents, and spend time with my less than enthused family, I want to wish all of you a Merry Christmas. Hope yours is a wonderful time of love and laughter. I'll be lucky if I even crack a smile, I feel like Scrooge. :/

Ice Skating, and fender benders and pancakes OH MY

2007-12-22T06:55:00.000-08:00

Last night was my first fender bender.
And I'm gonna tell you, I handled it like a pro!

So we were leaving the ice skating rink.
Which was fun, and chilly. But I LOVED it.
I'm gonna go back again soon.

Anyway, back to the big chaotic accident. (hahaha)
The driver (dani) was distracted by a certain boy and didn't see the girl in front of her hit her brakes. The accident felt worse than it was.

So we pull into this restaurant to asses the damage.
The girl gets out and this guy pulls up next to her..her boyfriend.
His arms were crossed, like he was some body guard.
(I guess those are extra boyfriend points to him.)

So the girl comes out of her car, yelling all sorts of profanity.
Dani gets out and us 4 girls stay in the car, I can see Dani freaking out a little bit..the battle of the cars seems a little unfair.
So I jump out, cross my arms, and act like Dani's bodyguard.
I get on the phone, call the trusty dusty dad on what all we need to get insurance, phone numbers, license plate numbers etc.
(That's what dad's are good for.)

The girl calms down, apologies are had, and it seems like it's gonna be one of those "Eh its not bad at all, we'll just forget it happened," kind of cases.

After that we IHOPed to calm Dani's nerves.
Our waiter's name was Grant.
He gave us free cocoa.

A Wake Up Call

2007-12-20T20:31:00.000-08:00

You can be the most annoying, most jerk-ish person in the world.
But when something bad happens that all goes away.

My night was filled with drama.
From friends fighting over the dumbest things,
to a guy who's in critical condition after a horrible work accident.

It makes you realize, no matter how bad life may seem, it could get worse.
And Tim may have been a jerk to me but I don't care, I'm so worried.
I know all I can do is pray, pray and pray.
But I'm not good at thinking positive and I despise the phrase
'It'll all be okay" because you can't promise that.

But God just in case you are a frequent reader of uninteresting blogs
I need Tim to be okay....please.
I'd appreciate the favor.

John Baileys Unmentionable

2007-12-19T15:24:00.001-08:00

Oh, today in Spanish.
[Spanish is where most of my stories occur.]
Today we were supposed to be doing our chapter reviews.
But instead we got on the topic of a fellows member.
Which is apparently legendary in the locker room, according to the football players.
(That worries me a bit..) but it was funny to say the least.

Apparently John Bailey's well, we're all adults, so I'm gonna be frank.
John Bailey's penis was responsible for the following:

the discovery of America
the crucification of Christ (apparently that one was on the History channel)
the deaths of Hitler, Saddam Hussein, and JFK
it is fed live mice and has venom more deadly than a cobra
it was featured in March of the Penguins (it is where the penguins found shelter.)
and is the cause for global warming

It was way too early in the morning for a conversation like this.
But it was a sad realization that my mind works like a man's.
And I'm not sure if I'm proud of that or not...

Throw Up Your Gang Signs

2007-12-18T21:58:00.000-08:00

Being in high school you notice lots of things.
Couples making out in the hallways,
typical drama of "who's dating whom"
and an excessive amount of flailing arms.

One can only accredit this towards the idiotic ideas of todays teens.
I mean, there I am, in Spanish, talking to one of my acquaintances
(I can't quite call him a friend, because outside of that class, we don't talk.)
But there we are talking, some random kid walks into the class
and Stids throws up his arms in this hugging motion,
which I can only assume meant, "sup."

Except if I was the kid receiving such hand gesture,
I would've thought Stids was acting like a bear.
I literally saw in my mind "Sup, I'm a bear."
But I don't think people typically think the way I do.

inflamed taste buds

2007-12-12T20:31:00.001-08:00

Yeah, so I don't like the format of this at all, it's odd.
Oh I also don't like people who can't do math.
40 divided by 4, is most definitely 10 not 12.

Got a Christmas Card.
The Office. Fantastic.

Oh and I looked it up; those bumps on your tongue,
the inflamed ones that hurt like hell,
apparently you're not supposed to try and pop.
But that's dumb. I pop them, and they turn out fine.
Honestly.

There Trevor

2007-12-12T20:28:00.000-08:00

you happy? I finally created one.
and I deleted my xanga.
haha.