Just realized

that exclaiming profound things
when you've just about had enough of everyone,
is quite relieving.

you should try it sometime,
if you get to the point where you think you're gonna crack.

San Francisco

San Francisco has been coming up a lot lately. Whether in lyrics, or the news or something, I've been hearing it a lot. You know when you don't ever think of something, and then it just hits you like 3 times a day for a week? It's weird. Wonder if it means anything. But here's Tony Bennett. Every time I hear this song I get goosebumps.

Down Memory Lane

Felt like reminiscing today. Found a bunch of old photos and just started scanning them in. I never realized how cute of a kid I was, not to toot my own horn here...but I mean the evidence is in the photo.-I'm the one on the left, just in case you couldn't tell.- I've decided I'm definitely dressing my kids up as construction workers, you know, when I get around to having kids.
But as I was looking at all the old photos of me and my brother and my parents, I realized life seemed much happier when you were 6. I mean you peed, you played, you ate, and you slept. Not really much to life. But it was the simplicity that allowed you to find beauty in mud pies in the summer and bull frog chasing at night.
Sometimes I wish I could just dig my fingers into the dirt and have a big heaping of my childhood back. Anyone with me?

It hit me

At like 1:30 in the morning on New Years day, it hit me. I have to grow up. This is the year I graduate from high school, the same year I go off to college. This is the year I become an adult and turn 18 and grow up. And that is scary as hell. I think of myself as the older teenager. I'm more mature, I make good decisions. But I can't grow up. OMG. I mean there is my whole life just waiting for me, and I'm like a deer in headlights...what am I supposed to do with it?

They say how your new years turns out is how the rest of your year is supposed to go. This does not instill hope. I decided to spend New Years with Alix. It was supposed to be this double date sort of thing I suppose. Hot Topic Ian was supposed to call Alix, and then Tim from Austin and me were all supposed to hang out. So Tim drives down, right? Alix gives me the okay, and picks me up. And damn, I left my purse at home with my phone charger. Since my house is on the way to Alix's I called Tim and asked him to pick it up for me. Surprisingly, he did. Apparently it was awkward, but all he did was shake my dad's hand..it's not that awkward. Anyways, so we're sitting there watching this guy jump a football field, and try to break the record. Robbie Madison, this Australian with oober guts, cause OMG, after the first jump he wanted to do it again. Definite shocker, did not see that coming.
He looks like this guy in my economics class. Anyways, Tim is snuggling up next to me and Alix still has no fella. Macy, Alix's dachshund saves the day when she fits her wiener dog body between me and Tim. Alix gets mad, storms off and I'm left there, with Alix's parents and Tim.
Tim tells the infamous "artery slicing" story and people oooo and awww. Whatever. Midnight strikes and I'm in the kitchen on the phone with Benjamin. Tim comes in, tries for a kiss and I'm all "not while Alix's parents are in the room" so whatever. Scrabble is played, pizza is had, and apparently "boas" is supposed to be an impressive word. Scrabble isn't that difficult.
Tim kept "uhahaha uhahah"-ing and saying how he was "totally gonna win." Completely obnoxious if you ask me. It's 2 before he finally leaves. The night, got much worse.
I walk him out to his truck, and go to give him a hug and he kisses me. Not who I wanted to kiss on new years and to make it worse, he thinks teeth are involved. My lip is swollen from the kiss. I push him away and he's all "I think I found one of your buttons." I smile and think, yeah, the off button. I wish I would've said it.
Such a bad night. But afterwards, Ian called Alix, she was happy, I was on the phone and didn't get to bed till 6. So if my night is full of late nights and bad kisses, I'm not looking forward to it. However, there is one glimmer of hope in it all. At least I got the bad kiss out of the way, now I'll just wait patiently for a good one. I mean, my Prince Charming is out there and a necessity I've decided, he has to know how to play scrabble.

Metamorphosis

New room. Took me and Alix two days of taping and painting, and tons of laughing. But we got it done. It looks really good. Better pictures will come...but here's the colors. I love it. It fits me. The lines aren't perfect and it fits me really well. :) Thats why I haven't posted in a while. Been a busy break, not gonna lie. But oh my goodness, paint is expensive. 50 bucks for two gallons and a quart..thats insanity! But the brown is on the bottom, and then this teal color and then a cream white (it's called Eternal Beige)...it looks awesome. I need new sheets and some wall stuff. Alix is calling it the Elvis room, because everything on the wall right now is Elvis. But it's definitely not just an Elvis room.
I feel older just sitting in that room. Plus I've got a strobe light and a black light, and it's kind of walking in my room at night. Now I just have the mess of the other room to clean up. That should be fun!
My birthday is coming up so if you feel like getting me a cool poster or a pillow or something, please don't hesitate. January 14th. *cough, cough*