Lost...

I've been feeling really emotional lately, so my well thought out stuff surfaces, but don't worry I'll be back to the dumb stuff in a bit...maybe.

Deeper, deeper I fall into these arms that I call home.
so willing to love yet unwilling to trust.
my heart pounds faster with every sweet whisper
but my mind can't give myself away,
I catch myself right before I fall.
I need you, I realize as my heart hits the floor.

Silently I wait.
Trapped in the familiar sound of the calm.
But I am not calm, I can't help but long for you.
Room spinning.
Mind racing.
Love fading.
I need you, I say, as my heart hits the floor.

Crying, I realize,
Nights like this are lonely.
Tonight is just one of many.
I am yours
But how can that be?
Love in the absence of you?
I need you, desperately, as my heart hits the floor.

Deeper I fall,
Silently I wait,
Crying I realize,
Without you, I'm lost.
I need you.

Don't let my heart hit the floor.

Love Re-defined

What is your definition of love?

According to Webster love is: (1) : strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties (2) : attraction based on sexual desire: affection and tenderness felt by lovers (3) : warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion (4) : unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another.
But do people really live by text book love?

According to wikipedia (which is a reliable source [check the website]) love is: a constellation of emotions and experiences related to a sense of strong affection or profound oneness.

I don't know about you, but I think I prefer the latter of the two.
A constellation of emotions and experiences
Notice how it doesn't designate that they are all good, for I don't think love always is.

Sometimes an argument is necessary to reach a better bond with said person.
One of my favorite lines from a movie is
"I'd rather fight with you than make love with anyone else."
[Its from The Wedding Date, if you haven't seen it I highly suggest it.]
But that quote is so true. I think I'd rather have someone I can fight with and know that when the fight is over I can still fall back into their arms. It isn't enough to love someone, its having the strength to open yourself up to their love and be able to deal with a few lover's quarrels.
And apparently "Make up sex is the best kind."
Don't you want that?
Someone to fight with
laugh with
joke with;
someone to love?
Sincere, heartfelt, can't live without each other love.

I want that. Desperately.
I mean come on, what girl doesn't?
I want to be able to have a constellation of emotions and experiences, good and bad, depressing and uplifting, wonderful incredible meant for each other kind of love.
And saying "I love you" just isn't enough.

He has to be able to care for you, make you smile, make you cry, piss you off only to apologize in that adorable way. And its more than just a kiss from a guy, its the way he holds your hand and how he can't seem to take his eyes off of you.
I don't want textbook love.
I want him. That guy. A mess but completely in love. I want him.