I'm just terrible at this

I know there is no excuse for me not blogging.
And I can say I juggle family stuff, a relationship, school, and the production of a 16 page paper every month (which actually took forever long to get out, thank you slackers!) But I've realized everyone has problems, everyone has struggles and I really have nothing to complain about.

My friend Courtney had her aunt pass away on Wednesday. She had Hepatitis because her husband would sleep around with hookers, and obviously he would come home for some lovin' too. Well her liver produce ammonia or something and put Courtney's aunt Debbie in a coma and on Monday she had to be put on life support because she wasn't breathing on her own. She passed away Wednesday and it was the hardest thing watching Courtney deal with that. But along with the loss of her Aunt and the fact that her mom is out of work so she has to work to pay the rent, Courtney's pepaw (grandpa) has cancer of the throat and it's too severe to cure, her sister might have ovarian cancer and her dad is getting married to a woman who is 23 years younger than him.

Separate these things would be hard to handle but Courtney seems to do it with such grace. I always look at her as this rock who never crumbles. She is amazing. But it was at band practice Monday night when I got a call from Courtney and I could just hear the pain in her voice. It broke my heart, she was so upset, she was crying so hard she could barely breathe...and Courtney never cries.

It was right there I realized, I don't have it bad. I may have struggles and things I have to deal with, but I maximize them to this extraneous size because I think if I don't have a problem, then I won't get attention. Or at least that's what I've come up with, if you have a better suggestion that doesn't make me look so human, please, tell me.

Maybe because I'm a writer I feel I have to suffer in order to be able to write a story worth reading, but I have hardly begun to suffer. Life is just starting for me. I have college to look forward to, love to discover, there's so much more life to live how could I have expected to get every heart-wrenching, tear-jerking experience before I turned 18? I'm foolish, I know that. Foolish, and oddly somewhat self-centered.

I'm working on both.